Was, Is, What will Be

Was by myself, was not all that bad
When i was not professionally secure,
Was not unhappy I was all I had.

And then you show up in my dream,
Kinda tried to fight it
Then you show up in flesh and blood
And still I fight the inevitable.


refused to see you smile cause my heart would skip a beat,
refused to see you cry cause my hands would have been there to dry your eyes,
refused to see your eyes cause you would have seen right through my little act of denial

Thought I did a good job
Not showing you what i felt.
Thought I got one up on God
'Things were not unfolding the way I had dreamt"

Then to break my hide-out inside of my sanctuary,
Came the flood of love I had never been prepared for.
I had made enough to ensure I don't escape outside, was not going to give myself that luxury,
But my defences could not hold back the joy of life like the first rays of sunshine on a sea shore.

In an instant I saw my world shaken, shattered.
Was a prisoner freed from a self imposed exile.

Did not mind the change, cause I had you by my side
And you blinded by love did not mind the sacrifice.
What started out as a confession of feelings,
turned into a whole lot more.
What was our strength,  our togetherness our understanding
Was being stretched into something, not we had bargained for.

And every time we spoke it was a whole another story
Of misplaced trust and broken hopes
It was like we had scissor fingers
Even a hug or handshake would casue open wounds.

We knew we cared we knew we loved,
Could not phatom what we were going through,
It was like our little bed time story
Became a nightmare, we were a part of it too.

And pulling the plug seemed like the only thing left to do,
For we knew not how to handle the monster we fed and grew.
It was our strength and shoulder to lean on for each other,
But now it was stopping us from being me and you.

Now we are far from each other,
Something we chose to do.
The picture , the painting seems a lot clearer
Have no regrets it was you.

For you are a wonderful person,
and I have not been all that bad to you.
Don't know if the future holds something better,
Or something new.

We are both at a train station,
Waiting for the one that takes us to the destination we choose.
May be we don't choose the same train,
Cause may be we want to end up at differnt places, different terrain, different homes,
May be that's why we called it truce.

Was it an infatuation taken too seriously,
Was it just a physical attraction  we added more meaning, more depth , more sound
Were we spinning in our own swrils but chose to hold hands
Were you the wind and I the rock, and did nt we share a common ground

Getting to understand my self, getting to understand you.
Make a wish! - nish